People nowadays

I have realized that people now a days just leave me sad. I have been going to college for three years and I have many things I must do for that schooling like doing homework and reading. Sometimes I do not always get to get my reading done but do not worry I get my homework done. However, even some of my peers have not even tried. I ask them are they reading and if they like the books and they have nothing to say to me because they are not reading. That does not only make me question why they are at college but where is there integrity. Do they just say they do all of this to say they are a good student and get a piece of paper that tells the world that they worked hard enough to waste money and time? It makes me think why people are paying to learn how to do a job if they are not even willing to learn the job. I know that as a youth pastor I need to be a student to culture. I need to work with students, parents, and the culture. If one of those is missing, I will not work out right. Maybe it is just my personality that I see there is a problem with people who are not willing to do something about what they want to do with their lives. I mean if they are not going to work for something they want and they are paying for it then what will change when people are paying them. They will only get lazy. I feel like now in school I must create disciplines that will help me later in life. Sure that means eating right, trying to work out, have friendships, and have a job, but am I just going to school to waste money? I feel like I have an obligation to my parents and myself because I am going to college. These are not obligations that are bad these obligations are things that spur me on. Some could see them as something to tie them down and create stress but it encourages me. Now to explain, I say my parents because they are willing to help, care and support me with what I want to do. In addition, I say myself because I know that this is my dream and I must push myself to do that dream. However, it confuses me when I hear that people have a dream and they do not care enough to even work towards that dream. They just want that dream given to them.

Off the topic of dreams and college. I just question what is being taught to the people of today. I have worked as the kitchen staff this whole week at my school and I have seen so much trash its stupid. It makes me question if people just skipped kindergarten. I say that because didn't we learn in kindergarten how to push in chairs, and clean up after ourselves. Maybe not to an extent where we will be later in life but I remember singing the clean up song. People do not even bother bringing their dishes to the dish area they just leave them on the table. Why? One thing that makes me sad is that these are the leaders of today. These are the people that are "trying" to learn to be the leaders in our churches and to be the leaders in the world. How are they going to be leaders when they cannot even take the time to do simple tasks?

It just blows my mind how different people are. I do not understand. It is tough but I will keep pushing on and trying to become the man God wants me to be. I am not trying to bash those people this is just some things on my mind. I just question a lot about people. It makes me think about the people I place myself with, how they will, and how I will affect them.

My Place

It has felt awesome to be sought after. In my two years of college, so far I have not found a spot that I have fit in because all of my classes are just so general. Like they are just for everyone but recently I have been taking youth classes and it is awesome because everything in there is so helpful I know I will use it in my life with youth. It is awesome to feel that someone is specifically trying to reach out to me and fill my head with knowledge. I feel that in most positions where college students are they are just used for their energy and their time instead of using them and teaching them. Other than being in college, it is more than just being around and taking up space. I went to a church last week that is for college students and it just feels awesome that people are trying to reach out to college students. I realize why I think there should be a bigger push to reach college students because and that is because I know what it feels like to be overlooked by home churches and just have them go for the older crowd. However, here in Manhattan Kansas there is a huge push for college students because that is what the town is made up of. In addition, it just is refreshing to see and feel that college students are still being sought for in ministry. They are not just the ones doing the ministry they are receiving ministry. That is such the awesome stage we are going to where we can start to do ministry but I think we most of the time forget that we are constant learners and if we are not learning what we are doing.

As Christians, we sing songs about being broken. One I heard recently was having my heart break for what yours breaks for. But do we really understands what it feels like to be broken. We just think oh well sure, we have had our heart broken. Or maybe we have been broke because well money is hard to come by now. But it just more than those things. I was thinking about a time when we have truly broken as a nation and I thought of a time that has come in the near past. That time was 911, yes, we were broken in that time, and we came back swinging. I don’t want to talk about if that was or wasn’t a good choice but I do what to think about what will Christians do if the body was broken? What will it take for us to unite? Will we just go back at those who broke the body and attack them? How would that do us any good? If that does anything, it would make me, if I wasn’t a Christian, run the other way of Christians. To be able to understand, talk, save, with the people who hurt we will have to have someone who understands them. It does us no good as Christians to come by swinging with who hurts us. We do not need to attack those who attack us but we need to try and understand those who attack us. It does us no good to attack those who attacked us other then hurting them or trying to kill them. If you have that idea when it comes to the idea of sharing Christ with others, well then stop because it is bad. Like I can understand the idea of defending ourselves but when it comes to the Christian faith you can’t do that. we must come to a similar mindset that will help us understand where they have come from so that we can talk to them in a way that is understood. Being rash in the battle for lost souls. The only thing and place that it helps the devil and hell. But being bold is good but just don’t do it stupidly. If you are bold in a stupid way you might as well be a demon with a shotgun. You can be bold with courage and Christ but it does take discernment to be able to see a difference.

prayer

I think as a group of people we have misunderstood the purpose of prayer. We use prayer as a time to think about what we want and ask God for. But, that time is not all about that. If that were what it is then I would say that I pray to my friends for stuff. I ask them to be good people I ask them to be a good friend. I ask for things. But prayer is much more than that. It is the communication between God and us. Like it is how we talk to God about what we are going through. We should not only talk to God but in that way he can give us a friend to also talk about it with. I also know we can ask for things and we should ask things from God but it is up to him to see if our questions, of whatever it is, is smart for us to have or he can say no. we always think that God says yes when I can tell you many times in my life that that is not true. In addition, some of the things of prayer have rather been in question of me lately. Like why do we bow our heads? Is it because we are not holy enough to be in the presence of God? Is it so that we can only look at the ground and see nothing. In addition, why do we close our eyes when we pray, OK not all but some people do. Is it because we are not holy enough to look upon God? Is it because it eliminates the possibility that we will get distracted? Maybe it was something done by someone who was caught in the moment like when people do worship and you raise your hands. I just do not know these things. Moreover, it is not limiting me in my faith they are just questions that I was curious about. Nevertheless, I know it is just nothing but the content is all about talking to God about our life and giving him the trust or the part of our lives that we should give him. Any who that is my tidbit on prayer. If you have, any comments please email or comment me I would love to hear them.

I kinda understand now

I have kinda resented people that see ccv as the perfect church in the past. I have nothing against the church it just kinda frustrates me that people can be so ignorant to make an idol out of a church. Yes, I can see that it is a good goal to go towards and it is a great church to be at but people do not do much about it. They just say they like it and they have no drive to actually get there. Yes, it is a bug church but the church did not just sprout out after night it took years. It grew from the head pastor’s living room with just a handful of people. It just kinda frustrates me how people can be so ignorant and are trying to do ccv in different areas. It is not possible because ministry is not about a cookie cutter think it takes work, determination and time. It just kinda frustrates me when people build a church on such a pedestal when it is just a group of believers. They just know how to use their skills and talents that God gave them to make it happen. However, people still idolize that. To be honest I would love to see a huge church like ccv just meet in an open lot and have it be like a concert with a stage that was made earlier that day so that the big church aspect would be gone and just to see how the people react. As my dad said once when we build a new building, we started trying to worship the new building because it was state of the art and just kewl. However, it really is not about the building size or anything it is about the ministry that goes on inside. The building is just a building. When it comes to the point where a ministry is worshipping or placing a building before a ministry I would rather have that building be destroyed then have that ministry hurt. I just feel that people have shifted in their ideas now. It is not about buildings or how big, yes, those things help but they are not all of it. You can still have an awesome ministry without those. However, no one wants to do the work to make it better. I know my generation has the possibility to do it but I also know that something drastic will have to change to reach my generation. My generation is so different from what churches now are trying to reach. The people in the churches now will give haughty looks and wonder why the church is appealing to such a weird or undeserving crowd. Therefore, I feel that if my generation wants to reach our own generation we will have to start our own churches. I say that because the churches now are reaching out to the generation of the people who started it. Therefore, they are reaching the older generation now. For the younger generations we are being shafted not getting the right treatment. We are just seen as the kids still. Whether or not we are kids, we are still the future of this land. We will rise up and we need to make some changes so that the place we call home does not turn into a dead planet. If we do not do something, the generation of the Christians will die out with our parents. Therefore, are we going to do something or what?

I have been thinking

I have been told ever since I was younger. Well, probably not the younger you are thinking of but I mean when I was younger as a Christian. That I should be aiming to only make one person happy. I understand that and I know I should not aim for anyone else to be happy but my aim should only be on God and whoever gets happy gets happy. However, the opposite is what is hard for me to chew on. If the people I do not care about see that me hanging out with friend of mine as me dating her should I forget them? I care about what people have to say about me. It is not in a way that it can irritate me about what people say about me. I like to see what people have to say about me and I can see if that is what I want to be seen as. I do not beat up the people that say mean things or anything of the matter but I do like to understand why people think the things they do when they first see me. I feel I have an obligation to keep in contact with people that do not necessarily like me because they are the people that will probably give me the most accurate view of myself.

I am Weary of Holding It In, Indeed I Cannot

I do not understand some things. One thing that I have not been able to understand is why perception is everything. In the Christian world, or maybe out here at mcc, students assume the craziest things. One thing for example if two people of the opposite sex are around each other, when I say "around each other" I mean standing within 10 feet of each other, they are automatically dating. Why is it that people are not mature enough to say, "Ok those two people are friends." For me, I being a nice guy has shot me in the foot. People think that just because I treat my friends that are girls the way should be treated I must be interested in them. Why is it that people, no even Christians, think that when someone takes care of another person there must be some sort of dating relationship? I have been told that I am the sweetest guy and now that I am trying to treat girls the way they should be treated, something is wrong with that. Since when has that been a bad thing? In addition, who gave guys the right to treat girls like crap and a piece of meat? Why is it that guys are not man enough to treat girls special. Why is it that guys are only nice to girls when they want something out of it? Why is it that people only show their true colors when there is something on the line? I have been trying to treat all of my friends special in the ways that God makes clear to me and now I am being persecuted for it. You might be thinking, "wow persecution that is a little much." It is nothing like being stoned or anything but, it is to the point that there are rumors and I am being talked about to the point where people are afraid to say things to my face. Just because I care for a friend and I am willing to show that care people automatically say something. I do not see my sweetness as a skill that God has given me to pick up women I see it as the characteristics of God that people do not use. Why is it that the people of God, Christians, do not do anything with the awesome God they have? Why is it that when people show the heart that God has given them most think something must be happening. It cannot just be that they care or that their personality is just that. People must assume. Why is that? Is it because they have nothing better to do with their day that they want to talk about others and assume to make their life better? I say grow up. Why not become the Christians God wants us to be. Why make fun, make rumors, stories, or excuses when you can stop living life on pause and become who God intended his people to be. Why? Is it because we are afraid of the change that God has for us? Whatever it is I just wish people would stop living life on pause and do something about and with their faith. I am not saying the huge things but the little things like how they treat people. Not just to treat people nice when they want something but treating people nice because they want to be like Christ and that is what he would do. I just wish it were that easy.